


Black

by when_you_know_you_know



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Family, Fluff, Hidden Feelings, Mutual Pining, Romance, Secret love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2019-10-07 06:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/when_you_know_you_know/pseuds/when_you_know_you_know
Summary: When unconfident single mother Stacie receives a visit from her fellow Bella, Aubrey, she realises just how deep her crush for the woman had gotten. And just how much she needed Aubrey to remind her how truly beautiful she still is..





	1. Aubrey Calls

“Hey Stacie.”

Stacie Conrad stood on the back porch of her parents house, looking out into the back yard where her two year old daughter was running around and giggling while chasing the family dog. The mother had her phone to her ear, somewhat surprised to be receiving a call from a friend she hadn’t heard too much from outside of The Bellas WhatsApp Group before.

“Oh, um…hi Aubrey. How’s it goin’?”

The brunette pulled at a loose frayed end of her ripped jeans while she listened with baited breath for Aubrey’s response. She’d be lying if she hadn’t had a raging crush on the woman since they’d met in college. Aubrey was just so… _hot!_

“Not so bad. You?” Aubrey asked and Stacie thought she could sense an uncharacteristically nervous tone to the woman’s voice. Surely Aubrey wasn’t nervous talking to  _her_. Aubrey didn’t seem to be nervous of anyone!

“Yeah I’m good thanks. You know, just…” Stacie paused while she perched on one of the outdoor seats nearby, looking out at her crazy little kid who was now busy tumbling around on the ground with the small dog, “…trying to bring up a little human still. Nothing new.”

“Uhuh.” Aubrey replied in an amused voice and Stacie thought she could sense a smile, “And hows that all going? Bella ready to rule the world yet?”

“She rules my world that’s for sure.” Stacie said with a smile. Her whole life had flipped on its head when she’d found out she’d been pregnant. Had flipped even further after her daughter had been born.

Little Bella challenged Stacie more than she’d ever been challenged pre-motherhood. Challenged her patience, her sleep, her diet, her sanity. But at the very same time Bella Conrad was Stacie’s pride and joy. Stacie loved her unconditionally. And the little girl made her laugh far more than she made her cry nowadays.

“I bet she does.” Aubrey said with a light chuckle and Stacie sat back in her seat, bringing her hand up to twirl a lock of her hair around her finger while holding the phone to her ear with her other hand.

“So I was actually calling to ask you a favour.”

Stacie’s eyebrows rose. Well that certainly answered why the woman had called her out of the blue.

“I’ve been nominated for an award and in dire need of an outfit to wear. And as you’re the only person I know who is a similar height and has a similar taste in fashion to me I was hoping you might be able to lend me a dress or something?”

Stacie tugged her bottom lip between her teeth. Over the past couple of years she’d definitely been in denial about her post-pregnancy body. So much so that she kept the clothes she’d once worn before falling pregnant in a box at the bottom of her closet. Just in case she’d find a way of one day fitting back into them. That day hadn’t yet come.

“Yeah of course.” Stacie said after a couple of beats. It was a no-brainer. Of course she’d let Aubrey borrow an outfit. Hell she’d let Aubrey borrow her  _entire wardrobe_  she liked the woman that much. And lending something to Aubrey meant two things: one, Aubrey would have to come and pick it up or Stacie would have to drop it off; and two, Aubrey would have to drop it back off or Stacie would have to pick it back up - which meant Stacie would get to see Aubrey twice. In the space of a matter of days. More than she’d seen her (or any of the other Bellas for that matter) in almost a year - since Bella’s second birthday.

“The ceremony’s out in Augusta next Saturday which is near you, right?” Aubrey added and a smile spread across Stacie’s face. Aubrey remembered where she lived?

“Um, yeah. Yeah it is.”

“I was thinking, if I booked a motel the day before the ceremony I could maybe come to yours and try on a few outfits? Only if that’s alright with you.”

Stacie’s smile remained on her face while she looked down at the tear in her jeans again. She was so preoccupied with the thought of Aubrey coming to visit that she’d failed to recognise her mother stepping out onto the back porch with some snacks and a couple of juices - one for her daughter and one for her granddaughter. Julie Conrad recognised that smile on her daughter’s face. And she hadn’t seen it in a very long time. Stacie was speaking to someone she had a crush on.

Stacie looked over at her mother who was watching her with a soft smile, “Um yeah I bet that’d be fine. I’d better just check with my Mom, hold on.”

The younger brunette brought the phone from her ear, trying to calm her racing heart with a deep breath but it was no good - she was too excited, “Ma, any chance my friend could come over next Saturday for a little while?”

“Of course darling.” Julie replied kindly, taking a seat beside her daughter, holding out one of the juices to her, “Does she or… _he_ …need a bed to stay overnight?”

Stacie’s smile turned into a coy one as her mother’s eyebrows rose. She knew that look. She knew what her mother was suggesting. And yes, she  _did_  have a thing for Aubrey. But no, she couldn’t imagine Aubrey would want to  _stay_ , particularly with Bella still waking up at the crack of dawn.

With a sigh and a roll of her eyes, Stacie brought the phone back up to her ear, “Mom wants to know if you wanted to stay overnight.”

“Oh…” came the reply, Aubrey seemingly surprised by the offer.

“I mean, obviously you’re welcome to. We’ve got a spare room with a spare bed. But the only down-side is Bella does wake up about 5am so…entirely up to you.”

Stacie was getting a little flustered, having unfortunately glanced at her mother during her suggestion to Aubrey and seeing just how broad her mother’s smile was. God, this was so embarrassing. And there was no way Aubrey would want to be woken up at that time by a hyper two year old.

“Stacie, you  _do_  know I get up about 5am every day for work, right?” Aubrey said with an amused chuckle and Stacie swallowed loudly. She hadn’t considered that Aubrey would have to get up early for the Doula retreat she ran. “Getting up with a two year old wouldn’t be a nightmare. Especially if she’s still as cute as she was when I saw her last year.”

A smile was on Stacie’s face while she looked out at her daughter who was busy trying to ride on the back of their small dog, “Um..well she certainly has her cute moments, yeah.”

“Great!” Aubrey replied, and Stacie’s stomach twisted a little, “Well if the offer still stands then I’d love to stay! Would give me a good opportunity to catch up on all the things you’ve been doing since I last saw you.”

The brunette hesitated, her smile dropping slightly. It would be a very short conversation. Not much had happened since the last time she’d seen Aubrey. She was still a single mother living at home with her widowed mother. That was about it.

“Yeah. Looking forward to it.” she replied in a quiet tone.

——

Miraculously the week since Aubrey’s call had flown by, and not only that but she and Stacie had been texting every day. Not about much. Just with little things like Stacie’s Mom wondering what Aubrey’s favourite meals and foods were so that the kitchen was well stocked. And Aubrey casually asking Stacie what her favourite wine was and whether her Mom would probably appreciate a box of chocolates to say thank you for letting her stay. Little things.

And as the day of Aubrey’s arrival fast approached, Stacie became more excited and more nervous. She wanted Aubrey to be impressed with her life. Wanted her to enjoy staying at her home for the night. But as Saturday morning rolled around and Stacie looked around the bedroom she was going to be sharing with her daughter overnight, she wondered how on Earth her friend would ever be impressed with her setup here. Twenty six, a single mother, still living in her childhood home, with a pretty terrible part-time job as a clothes store assistant.

Stacie cleared her throat, determined to keep her tears at bay. She cried too much at the state of her life. She cried to much when she compared her Instagram account with the rest of The Bellas’ Instagram accounts. They were off having the time of their lives pursuing the careers that they wanted and settling down.

Stacie greatest achievement was her daughter. Which had actually been the result of a one night stand three years ago. She always had been reckless - it hadn’t bothered her at the time. But the older Stacie got, the more she worried that the continuous lack of romantic interest in her life meant that she might forever struggle in that department. A department she was once so well versed in.

She missed the attention. She missed feeling confident about her body. She missed the touch of someone else - someone gently caressing her and whispering in her ear that she was beautiful and sexy. Nowadays she felt far from sexy.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and Stacie swiped at a tear that had dared to eek from her eye. She’d been working so hard on her makeup this morning. It was the first time in months that she’d felt a need to put a proper effort on her appearance.

The brunette stood from the fold-out bed she’d been sat on, smoothing down her clothes and clearing her throat again. This was it. Aubrey was finally hear. And she heard her mother open the front door, welcoming the guest loudly.

“Aubrey! So nice to see you again!” Julie called out, and Stacie could hear her daughter’s footsteps thundering through to the front door from the lounge, followed by her mother calling up to her, “Stacie! Aubrey’s here!”

Stacie began making her way out of her daughter’s bedroom, and slowly wandered down the stairs. The second she caught sight of the blonde, her breath caught in her throat, and she couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face as Aubrey beamed up at her.

Bella was cowering slightly behind her grandmother’s leg, having always been a little shy around new people - despite having met Aubrey a couple of times before now. But Stacie took the final few steps down to the ground floor before reaching out and pulling Aubrey into a tight hug.

The woman smelt amazing. The woman  _felt_  amazing. And as Stacie squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn’t believe Aubrey was here, “It’s so nice to see yooou!” Stacie cooed and Aubrey cooed the exact same thing back, both letting out light chuckles as they parted.

Within seconds they had all wandered into the lounge, Julie having disappeared to the kitchen to sort out drinks. Leaving Stacie, Aubrey and Bella alone. For the first time ever.

Stacie smiled nervously while her daughter face-planted her lap, still a little shy of Aubrey. But to Stacie’s relief, Aubrey didn’t seem offended. She just smiled sweetly at the little girl.

“Sorry.” Stacie found herself apologising, “She isn’t normally like this.” before sweeping her hand delicately through Bella’s long brown hair, addressing her daughter, “Sweetheart, why don’t you say hello to Aubrey?”

But the two year old shook her head, looking up at her mother with her big beautiful green eyes.

“It’s okay.” Aubrey said kindly with a chuckle, “I’d be shy too if some strange woman strode into my house.”

“You’re not strange.” Stacie quickly replied, then looked back down at her daughter, “It’s  _Aubrey_. You know Aubrey.”

Bella slowly turned her head, still resting it in her mother’s lap while she leant against Stacie’s legs, peering over at Aubrey nervously. Stacie watched as Aubrey smiled kindly at Bella and gave her a little wave, while saying in a quiet soft voice,

“Hi.”

But Bella quickly turned her face into her mother’s lap, causing the two women to chuckle sweetly while looking at each other.

“Come on you La-La. Stop being silly.” Stacie said to her daughter in an amused tone while she swept her hand through the little girl’s long locks again. Feeling a little embarrassed that her daughter wasn’t obsessed with her friend already. How couldn’t she be?

“Hey Bella?” Aubrey said in a cautious tone, delving into her handbag, “Look what I brought for you.”

This appeared to be the hook that the two year old had needed and Stacie watched her daughter slowly look over at the blonde again. Aubrey pulled a brand new colouring book and some brand new crayons out of her bag. And some bubbles. Bella loved bubbles.

“Wow bubbles  _and_  colouring?” Stacie said to her child while glancing at Aubrey. That had been another thing her friend had asked her in the week: what Bellas favourite activities were. The mother had informed her that the two year old was a sucker for bubbles.

Stacie saw her daughter stand a little straighter, peering closer at the items that Aubrey held out towards her. Then everso slowly, Bella began moving towards the guest, a smile slowly growing on her curious face.

“Bobboes?” Bella asked quietly, pointing at the bubble pot that Aubrey held out. Stacie watched in delight as her friend put the colouring to one side then began unscrewing the bubble pot.

“Yeah Bella, I brought some bubbles.” Aubrey replied in a sweet calm voice, “Want me to open them?” The little girl nodded quickly, but Aubrey glanced up awkwardly at Stacie, “Um..if that’s okay to have them indoors?”

“Oh yeah! Yeah Mom doesn’t mind bubbles indoors. Besides,” Stacie reached out to stick her fingers under her daughters little armpits, causing the two year old to squirm and let out a loud squeal followed by a gurgling giggle, “Grandma would let this one get away with  _murder_  she’s so spoilt!”

“Not spoilt.” Stacie’s mother corrected, stepping into the lounge with a tray of drinks and a smile on her face as her daughter released her granddaughter and the two year old made a bee-line for the bubble pot that their visitor held, “Just thoroughly loved.”

“Well I can see why. She’s gorgeous!” Aubrey said with a beautiful smile, her focus on Bella who had become so entranced by Aubrey opening the bubble pot that the two year old had ended up standing right before the blonde, with her little hands resting on Aubrey’s knees, watching the pot with her big green eyes.

Stacie watched with a proud smile on her face, almost as eager to see Bella’s reaction to the bubbles as Bella was to seeing the bubbles herself. Her daughter  _was_  gorgeous, and hearing her crush say it too was like music to Stacie’s ears. She noticed her mother watching her out of the corner of her eye. But the brunette ignored the older woman. She’d had many the conversation this past week about Aubrey and eventually had revealed to her Mom that yes, she  _did_ have ‘a thing’ for Aubrey but no, Aubrey would in no way  _ever_  have ‘a thing’ for her in return.

The three women watched as Bellas face lit up the moment Aubrey brought her lips to the bubble wand and gently blew. And a bubble squeezed it’s way out into the room, soaring up momentarily with Aubrey’s breath, before gently floating down towards Bella’s little outstretched hands.

Aubrey let out a light “Oop!” as the bubble popped against the two year old’s skin, and a broad smile was on her face as Bella let out a squeal of delight then a short giggle before looking up at her: “Again!” Bella demanded with glee and Aubrey happily obliged.

“Looks like you’re Bella’s new best friend now, Aubrey.” Stacie said with a grin, “Watch out.” And her heart skipped a beat as the blonde’s eyes flickered over to her while she blew into the bubble wand again. Stacie could tell that Aubrey was honoured. And Stacie felt honoured too.

——

“So, um, this is your room.” Stacie said as she stepped through the threshold that was normally her bedroom but was the guest bedroom for the night. Beautiful fresh bedsheets rested on the large bed - the bedsheets that her mother had insisted on buying in the week because Aubrey was ‘a super special guest’..

_“Ma, she’s not a ‘super special guest’..” Stacie said with a sigh, massaging the bridge of her nose with her eyes closed, a sign she was a little stressed._

_“Nonesense.” Julie replied, waiting in line at Target with her cart full of food they didn’t normally buy - but Aubrey loved - and some plush bedcovers in a set balanced on top, “She means a lot to you, Sausage.” Stacie grimaced a little at the nickname her mother still insisted on calling her. “And if making the house and your room look extra lovely for her means that she falls for you too then I’ll do everything I can to make sure it happens.”_

_Stacie groaned a little. Great - she was so undesirable that her own mother sought after becoming her wing woman.._

Stacie looked over her shoulder as Aubrey stepped into the bedroom, Bella wandering through while holding the blonde’s hand. It’d been a good couple of hours and Bella hadn’t left Aubrey’s side since the bubbles had been opened. It gave Stacie hope.

A smile was on Aubrey’s face while she looked around the room, “Goodness this is a large guest room.”

“Oh.” Stacie’s cheeks flushed a little in embarrassment, “This is…actually my bedroom but…well it’s yours tonight. Nicest one in the house.”

“I bet.” Aubrey mused as she watched Bella race further into the room to open up on of the dresser draws. Stacie’s heart jolted when she saw that her daughter had opened the draw where she kept her dildo, and quickly darted forward to close the draw. Bella looked up at her with her wide green eyes, a little perplexed at her mother’s reaction. But Stacie just cleared her throat, before stepping between her daughter and the draw, and leaning against the dresser.

She looked over at Aubrey who had a knowing smile on her face and Stacie suddenly felt sick. Oh God. Aubrey Posen had just seen her sex draw. How embarrassing!

“ _Don’t worry_ ,” Aubrey whispered with a sparkle in her eyes, “ _I’ve got one too._ ”

Stacie watched in awe as Aubrey turned away, and drew her attention to the five beautiful dresses that Stacie had hung up across the curtain rail at the beginning of the week to remove any creases and give them some air. They were different colours: one pink, one green, one blue, one red, and one black. They’d been in storage for a good three years. And Stacie could only dream of fitting in them again.

“Wow.” Aubrey mumbled, reaching out to delicately feel the fabric. Stacie watched Aubrey’s fingers longingly. They were so beautiful and long and slender. Perfectly manicured. They looked so soft.

“Yeah just try them on and whatever one you like you can wear tonight.” Stacie offered. She thought she could see a small blush appearing on Aubrey’s cheeks, but she wasn’t sure. The blonde turned to look at her, then looked down at Bella with a wide smile:

“Which one do you think I should try on first, Bella?”

And the two year old beamed back at her, pointing at the dress on the far left, squeaking, “The pink one!”

——

Stacie sat perched on the edge of the small mattress on the floor of her daughter’s bedroom, her knees tucked into her chest while she watched her daughter show her how many times she could spin in a circle without falling over. Stacie was slowly counting the spins in a tired tone. Her daughter had so much energy sometimes.

She saw a figure appear in the doorway out the corner of her eye. But it wasn’t Aubrey. It was her mother.

“Where’s Aubrey?” The woman asked with a confused expression.

“Trying the dresses on in my room.”

“And you’re not in there helping her?” Julie asked, but Stacie simply rose her eyebrows at her mother.

“I’m helping her by keeping this one-“ and she motioned to the two year old who had finally got so dizzy she fell to the ground with a loud ‘woah!’, “-out of the way.”

The older brunette noticed the expression on her mother’s face, and Julie quickly turned her attention to her granddaughter who was busy giggling to herself on the floor:

“Bella, shall we go downstairs and start preparing some snacks for Mommy and Aubrey?”

The two year old sat up and looked at her grandmother curiously, “What kind of snacks?”

“Well why don’t you come downstairs with me and find out.”

Bella obediently rose to her feet and began heading for the staircase. Meanwhile Stacie looked up gratefully at her mother while Julie looked down at her daughter, giving her an encouraging wink and whispering, “ _Take all the time you need. I’ll keep her occupied_.”

Stacie watched as her mother and daughter disappeared down the stairs, and she took a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. She and Aubrey had never been alone in the same room before. But soon they would be..


	2. The Black Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacie tries on the Black dress..

Stacie took a deep breath, pausing outside her bedroom door that would be Aubrey’s bedroom for the next twenty four hours or so. She was nervous. Like, really nervous. Without The Bellas there to help stoke the conversation and without her two year old daughter there to provide some sort of deterrent from the potential awkward silences, what on earth could she and Aubrey possibly talk about? They’d never had to hold a conversation between just the two of them before.

The brunette knocked steadily on the door, pausing until she heard Aubrey call out a clear “Come in.” And the twenty six year old opened the door and stepped into the room.

Her breath caught in her throat, her brown eyes immediately drawn to Aubrey’s beautiful legs that poked out beneath the pink dress that Bella had insisted Aubrey try on first.

But her initial awe of her friend’s beauty quickly disappeared, replaced with disappointment as Aubrey turned on the spot and seemed to look down by Stacie’s legs - clearly expecting to see Bella arriving with her. The blonde’s bright smile had flickered momentarily and Stacie began to wonder if Aubrey had only actually come here to borrow a dress, have somewhere free to stay overnight, and to see Bella. Stacie wondered if Aubrey had even wanted to see her at all, and it immediately caused a wave of sadness and insecurity to wash over her body.

How could she have been so stupid to think that Aubrey came here to see her? She was just Stacie. Poor sad, single, dumpy, drained, hopeless Stacie with little life currently being led, and little life ahead of her. It shouldn’t have really come as any surprise to her that beautiful, amazing, successful Aubrey would want little to do with her while they were just awkwardly stood here one-to-one.

Perhaps letting her mother take her daughter downstairs had been a huge mistake. Stacie hated to admit it..but she needed Bella to feel okay about not being as amazing as she once was back in college. Bella was the proof as to why she’d changed so much.

“So what do you think?” Aubrey asked, opening her arms out then placing them on her hips swaying slightly as if modelling the outfit she currently wore. That large smile was back on her face again and Stacie took a deep breath, her eyes dragging their way from the hem of the beautiful dress right the way up to the neckline.

Her mouth went dry when her eyes found Aubrey’s collarbone, then Stacie found herself clearing her throat the moment she locked eyes with Aubrey for the first time. The blonde’s smile softened.

“Uh, yeah you look amazing.” Stacie managed to choke out, but Aubrey turned slightly to face the long mirror by the closet, inspecting her appearance.

“Hmm I’m not sure..” she mused, smoothing her hands down the front of the dress, “..I’ve kinda got my eyes on that green dress.”

Stacie watched as Aubrey glanced at the green dress that was hung up beside her and she felt her stomach scramble. God, Aubrey would look stunning in that dress. It had always been the dress that, whenever Stacie had worn it, she’d got the best attention from guys (and girls alike).

And it was that reminder that had Stacie’s stomach dropping very quickly. Oh God, Aubrey was going to look so stunning at this awards ceremony tonight she was bound to be hit on. Maybe she’d even end up switching numbers with a guy. And Stacie would have to go through the torment of knowing that thanks to her green dress Aubrey had ended up meeting the love of her life..

“I’m gonna try it on next.” Aubrey said, peeling down the zip of the dress she was currently wearing and ensuring it didn’t pool then crumple on the floor below. Stacie immediately turned away.

“I uh..will just wait next door..” she said awkwardly, making her way out of the room but Aubrey let out a light chuckle.

“Stacie don’t be silly! It’s just me! We’ve gotten changed in front of each other before.”

 _Yeah but that was with all The Bellas too_ , Stacie thought to herself as she returned to the room and closed the door back over. Her heart was hammering against her chest as Aubrey reached up to get the green dress down, stood comfortably in her underwear. And Stacie took that fleeting moment to admire Aubrey’s beautiful figure along with all the moles she’d never seen before. Like the one on Aubrey’s hip. And the one just beneath the curve of Aubrey’s left butt cheek.

“Like what you see?” Aubrey asked in an amused tone, her cheeks a little pink, and Stacie realised her mouth was hung open. Crap.

“Uh…” Stacie paused to clear her throat, grinning slightly with embarrassment, “…you just have a really amazing body.”

Aubrey was grinning while she stepped into the green dress, then shrugged while she turned to look at her reflection in the mirror, “Well when you do as much yoga as I do it’s difficult to lose tone..”

Stacie felt tears prickle her eyes. She hadn’t done yoga in years. Not since she’d fallen pregnant. She used to love yoga. Had done it almost every day. Having a kid changed things though. Bella was far too active and fidgety to take to a yoga class - even the ‘Moms & Tots’ one on a Thursday - and Stacie didn’t like to burden her mother with babysitting duties, so the only time she got to do something for herself was when she went to work twice a week for six hours per day. The rest of her time was all encompassed around her two year old.

“I really miss yoga.” Stacie said with a whistful sigh, looking down at her feet. She’d tried to curl her leg over the back of her neck the other week - just like she’d once been able to do before having Bella. She was so inflexible now. Stacie remembered how hard she’d burst into tears. She missed her old body a lot.

“Why don’t you join a local class?” She heard her friend ask and Stacie looked up to see that Aubrey was glancing at her.

“It’s not so easy with a two year old.” Stacie admitted, sniffing suddenly to try to keep her tears at bay, “I don’t exactly get time to myself any more unless I’m at work. And even then that’s only twelve hours a week.”

She watched as Aubrey looked at her sheepishly while trying to do the zip of the dress up, “What about dates? You must get people asking you out all the time.” Aubrey suggested but Stacie shook her head gently, a sad smile on her face. Her life really  _was_  a boring as she feared it was. And Aubrey was quickly discovering that.

“I haven’t been on a date since falling pregnant.” Stacie admitted quietly, “Unsurprisingly there aren’t many people around here attracted to the sad, sorry twenty six year old single mother of one who has a flabby stomach post-pregnancy and bags beneath her eyes the size of the moon..”

She seemed to automatically wander towards the blonde, keeping her eyes on the zip that Aubrey had stopped struggling to reach around to do up and Stacie reached out to help. She slowly slid the zip comfortably up, her index finger accidentally smoothing up Aubrey’s soft skin on her back. And Stacie swallowed loudly ignoring the way her friend looked at her in the reflection of the mirror.

She didn’t want Aubrey to feel sorry for her. She was sick enough of feeling sorry for herself.

“You’re really beautiful.” Aubrey said in an affectionate tone that Stacie had never heard before, “You  _do_  know that, right?”

Stacie’s heart jumped into her throat, her chest tightening slightly at the compliment. Aubrey - her crush - had called her  _beautiful_. But Stacie didn’t feel beautiful. She never felt beautiful. She was a mess. And she felt sad to think that Aubrey was just saying those things to try to cheer her up, not because she meant it.

She looked up into the reflection of the mirror, noting how beautiful Aubrey looked out of the two of them. How could the blonde  _possibly_ think that she was beautiful too?? She looked like a tramp beside Aubrey who stood before her like some sort of Goddess.

The green dress drew the green from Aubrey’s eyes, lighting them up like the fresh green leaves on a beautiful warm summer’s day. And Stacie felt tears brimming in her eyes again.

“No where near as beautiful as you.” she managed to choke out, her fingers still lightly clutching the zip she’d just zipped up for her friend. “And this dress is definitely  _the_  dress. You’re gonna blow everyone away tonight.” she added in a soft tone, forcing a small smile onto her face as she stepped back with a sniff to take in Aubrey’s entire figure. She looked stunning.

Aubrey seemed to take a few moments to assess her appearance in the mirror, but she didn’t smile. And for a fleeting moment Stacie thought she could spy tears shining in her friend’s eyes. Oh God. Had she upset Aubrey with her sad sorry self-pity? Way to go, Stacie - killing what should’ve been a light fun experience between the two of them with her shitty pity-party.

“Right,” Aubrey announced with a sharp sniff, clearly composing herself and standing up straight. She turned to the three dresses that were still hung up and plucked the black dress from its hanger, “You’re gonna put this on.” she said in a confident tone, turning back to Stacie and holding it out.

Stacie hesitated, looking down at the dress then back up at Aubrey. Her friend was looking at her with a pointed expression and though she didn’t know a lot about Aubrey, she remembered that look. It was Aubrey’s bossy expression.

“Why?”

“Because I need to show you just how incredible your body is. And this dress is the way to do it.”

Stacie hesitated. She hadn’t worn this dress in over three years. There was a high chance that she would struggle to get into it. And it terrified her. She just wasn’t as slim as she used to be. And her ankles hadn’t really lost their chunkiness since her pregnancy. She was going to look just awful.

But the younger woman took a deep breath, then slowly reached out and took the dress. Her fingers brushed against Aubrey’s, causing her hands to tingle a little. Then she watched as her friend stepped past her with a kind smile, and headed for the door of the bedroom. Stacie’s brow furrowed slightly while she watched Aubrey reach for the door handle.

“Hey where you goin’?” she asked but Aubrey simply looked over her shoulder at her.

“I just need to ask your Mom something.”

Stacie hesitated, wondering if she should be concerned. But Aubrey didn’t give her time to air her worries, quickly slipping out of the room with nothing more said. Stacie looked back down at the dress in her hands and took a deep shaky breath.

——

Aubrey slowly wandered down the staircase, her mind feeling fuzzy while her stomach knotted. She felt confused. Sad for her friend.

When she’d arrived here a couple of hours ago she’d expected to find the Stacie she’d always known: bright, confident, relaxed, happy. But to her surprise her friend seemed to be like a shadow of her former self. Stacie seemed far less confident, both externally and internally. She seemed more anxious. More tired. More uncomfortable. And Aubrey had struggled to keep her tears back as she realised just how unhappy Stacie probably felt.

She didn’t know if it was Stacie’s hormones. She didn’t know if Stacie had just become a victim of circumstance - a single mother living at home and making barely any money in a job that probably filled her with little stimulation.

But one thing that Aubrey definitely did know was that she still harboured a huge crush on the brunette. A crush that she’d only started considering back when Stacie had been in her senior year and had been giving Aubrey a good bit of attention during their time away with The Bellas in Copenhagen. They hadn’t ever spent time one-on-one. But Stacie had had this sparkling expression on her face that had captivated Aubrey. To the point that Aubrey had thought about her a lot over the years since then, checking through her Instagram and admiring her life via social media.

She hadn’t hesitated in contacting Stacie when she’d found out about the awards ceremony that was being held tonight. She’d been a pack of nerves driving over to see her. Had been in awe of Stacie’s beauty when the brunette had wandered downstairs to greet her.

But the short conversation they’d just shared had Aubrey’s heart lurching towards Stacie. Lurching towards the young woman she secretly adored. She had to find out more. She had to find out what had happened to make Stacie lose her confidence.

And there was only one way to find out. By asking the person who knew Stacie best: Stacie’s Mom.

——

Stacie perched on the edge of the bed, her face in her hands, weeping gently. Her body shook with emotion as waves and waves of self-doubt overwhelmed her. She’d miraculously got into the dress. But where she’d once been able to zip it up alone three years ago, now Stacie’s extra weight that she’d put on during the pregnancy and the flexibility she’d lost since, meant that the brunette sat on the edge of the bed with the back gaping open.

She always knew this would happen. She should’ve just told Aubrey she wouldn’t do it. Wouldn’t try on the dress. But then Aubrey had looked at her with those beautiful green eyes and Stacie hadn’t needed any more persuasion. What a mistake that seemed now..

Stacie jumped as she heard the bedroom door opening and she pulled her face from her palms, sniffing loudly, frantically swiping the tears from her cheeks. She caught a whiff of perfume and immediately recognised it as Aubrey’s. And sure enough the blonde slowly wandered over and stood before her. Stacie looked up and saw the look of concern on her friend’s face.

“Want some help with the zip?” Aubrey asked softly and Stacie sniffed again before getting to her feet. She let out a heavy sigh while turning slightly on the spot. Then her breath caught in her throat when she felt Aubrey slowly draw the zip of the black dress from the small of her back up to the top.

She thought she heard Aubrey swallow loudly, then her friend gently took hold of her hips and guided her gently over to the long mirror Aubrey had once been stood before. Stacie caught sight of her reflection and took a sharp inhale of breath between her teeth.

Her hands immediately stroked at the small pouch of jelly-fat that had been present since Bella’s birth. No matter how hard she’d tried, she was still unable to shift it.

Her eyes ran up and down the length of her body, tears welling up in her eyes again. She was hideous.

“See,” Aubrey said in a soft tone, stood behind Stacie, reaching around to take her hands and hold them by her sides, “you’re absolutely  _beautiful_.”

Stacie sniffed loudly. She had no idea what part of her Aubrey was looking at to have given her such a compliment. Her eyes found Aubrey’s in the reflection, and she saw a look on the woman’s face that she’d never seen before. A look that she couldn’t pinpoint. What was happening?

“Will you go to this awards ceremony with me this evening?” Aubrey asked, resting her chin gently on Stacie’s shoulder. This felt  _intimate_. Like how two lovers would stand together. But they  _weren’t_  lovers. Which was the key reason why Stacie was confused by this contact. “I was offered a plus one and I thought I could go it alone but…”

Aubrey seemed to pause, bringing her head from Stacie’s shoulder and the brunette furrowed her brow for a moment. She turned on the spot, looking at Aubrey in some concern. But to her surprise her friend looked into her eyes with a smile that slowly grew on her face.

“…I want to take you out for the night. To say thank you. And the Lodge will be paying so we don’t have to worry about money or anything.”

Stacie hadn’t quite comprehended that Aubrey’s hands were still resting on her hips, nor had she comprehended that her own hands were lightly cupping the blonde’s elbows.

“Your Mom said she’ll look after Bella no problem.”

Stacie’s heart began ramming against her chest. Had…was Aubrey asking her out on a date?! She opened her mouth to answer but words caught in her throat. All she could do was clear it lightly.

“You can wear this incredible dress, and we can do our hair and makeup this afternoon like we used to do when preparing for performances with The Bellas.” Aubrey continued, noticeably nervous now, trying to make this evening’s trip sound more and more enticing. But Stacie didn’t need any more enticement. She’d been sold the second she realised just who had asked her out. “A-And we’ll get an Über both directions so we don’t have to worry about one of us driving or your Mom having to dr-“

“-I’d love to.” Stacie interrupted, a watery smile spreading across her face. She watched as a broad smile of relief appeared on Aubrey’s face, her green eyes twinkling while Stacie looked into them.

There had been no official mention of this being a date. Definitely not. And even though Aubrey was unusually affectionate right now Stacie was sure that didn’t mean that the woman had a crush on her or anything. It was just Aubrey trying to comfort her when she’d been upset. And Stacie was really grateful for that. Normally she only had her Mom as a shoulder to cry on. Or Bella looking at her with a bit of a perplexed expression before snuggling up to her to try to help her feel better.

“ _Thank you.”_ Stacie whispered, blushing, such had been the intensity of Aubrey’s look, and she snapped her focus down to her hands. She quickly pulled them from Aubrey’s elbows, a little embarrassed by how vulnerable she was acting.

Just as they stepped apart, the bedroom door crashed open and little Bella stepped into the room with a massive grin on her face, gasping before crying out, “Mama you look  _beautiful_!”

And Stacie let out a coy smile while her little girl looked up at her with her big green eyes, wide with wonder.

“See,” Aubrey mumbled, nudging Stacie gently, “I’m not the only one who thinks so.”

Stacie’s Mom suddenly appeared in the doorway, out of breath from racing up the stairs, looking at the two women apologetically, “Sorry girl’s, I turned my back for two seconds and she was gone!”

Aubrey and Stacie both chuckled as they looked down at the two year old who swayed innocently on the spot before them. Stacie brought her hand out and affectionately slipped her fingers through her daughter’s long brown hair.

“That’s okay, Ma. We were just about to change out of our outfits.”

And Bella’s eyes widened again, “That’s what you’ll wear tonight with Bau-Bree?”

“Yeah kiddo, that’s what I’ll be wearing tonight with Bau-Bree.” Stacie said with a grin. A grin that softened a little as she looked up at her friend to see Aubrey already looking at her somewhat… _affectionately_. And it was that look that had Stacie’s stomach doing topsy-turvys. Because nobody had ever looked at her like that before. Not even Bella’s father.

Tonight looked like it could be a very wonderful night indeed..


	3. The Big Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacie & Aubrey arrive at the awards ceremony together..

Stacie felt as though she was in some sort of dream. She was in a dress she hadn’t worn in three years. On the way to a function. In public. And to top it all off, she was _out with Aubrey_.

The brunette was currently sat nervously in the back of the Uber with her beautiful friend, fiddling with the rings she’d put on her fingers this afternoon when they’d got ready. She kept her clutch bag held across her belly, having felt insecure about it for so long now that the action was an automatic response to being around other people that weren’t her mother or two year old daughter.

The two women had been sat side by side in silence, listening to the songs on the in-car radio. Well, Aubrey had been. Stacie, however, was sat in silence becoming more and more anxious as the minutes ticked on. What if people saw that Aubrey had brought _her_ instead of some handsome charming man? A handsome charming man who would undoubtedly be able to hold fantastic conversation while Aubrey looked stunning on his arm. A handsome charming man who made the people around him smile and laugh at his jokes.

Stacie’s stomach churned. How could she possibly complete with him? The imaginary man that Aubrey _could_ have gone to this awards evening with. There was no way she could match his charm. Could match his confidence and ability to hold conversation. She didn’t keep up with what was happening in the news. She didn’t have a social life or any hobbies. She just had her daughter and her few hours a week at her job that didn’t exactly boast success.

“Stacie?”

Stacie jumped at the sound of her name, and turned to her left to see Aubrey looking at her with a hesitant expression. And Stacie suddenly realised a tear had been rolling down her cheek.

“Are you sure you’re okay coming along to this thing?”

Stacie swallowed loudly, bringing a hand up to swipe her tear, but Aubrey snapped her hand over, gently grabbing her wrist, “You’ll smudge your makeup.” the blonde said softly and Stacie felt her chest tightening as her eyes locked with Aubrey’s green eyes. She wasn’t sure how the woman managed it, but Aubrey seemed to have this calming effect on her.

“Are you sure _you’re_ okay with me coming along to this thing?” Stacie asked in a cautious tone, her mind immediately flicking to that image she had in her head of Aubrey’s perfect date that should could be taking to this thing instead. That tall handsome man with a cute lop-sided grin, chistled features, and the greatest personality that commanded to room. His hand placed proudly on the small of Aubrey’s back while she beamed up at him, her perfect green eyes sparkling in adoration-

“Of _course_ I am.” Aubrey insisted, her expression revealing just how worried she was about her friend, “But if you don’t want to go then we can always turn arou-“

“-No!” Stacie quickly interrupted, her other hand joining Aubrey’s while the clutch she had been holding fell to the floor of the Uber. “No tonight is your big night. I just…don’t want to disappoint you.”

Aubrey and Stacie fell silent while they looked into one another’s eyes. Stacie’s quiet confession had Aubrey’s heart breaking. Why would she _ever_ think that she’d disappoint her?? Aubrey thought Stacie was… _wonderful_. Stacie was beautiful and funny and _clever_. So very clever. Aubrey was in awe of her.

The blonde pulled a tissue from her own clutch bag, then gently reached out, bringing her finger and thumb out to steady Stacie’s face by her chin while using the tissue to dab away the younger woman’s tears. Stacie had sucked her breath into her lungs and held it there, watching Aubrey’s eyes focusing sadly on her fallen tears.

“You could never disappoint me.” Aubrey said in a soft tone, finishing the dabbing and looking back up at her friend, her heart beating against her chest. “I invited you because I wanted to…I want you.”

Stacie swallowed loudly, her eyes momentarily drifting down to Aubrey’s lips. She wanted her? Like…as a date? Or…a girlfriend? Or just as a companion to this awards evening?

Her heart hammered against her chest as she looked up at Aubrey’s eyes to see the blonde was now staring down at _her_ lips. The atmosphere in the back of the car was thick with sexual tension as Aubrey remained in her position, leaning over towards her friend. Stacie and Aubrey slowly brought their faces closer, their breathing becoming shallower.

All of a sudden, the car came to a stop and the driver cleared his throat while Aubrey leant back from Stacie. Both women looked a little flustered, having been caught in the moment. They’d been so close to kissing. Both had wanted to.

“Here you go.” the driver said, glancing in the rear view mirror at Aubrey with a grin.

Stacie took a few seconds to blink and catch her breath while she watched the blonde lean forward and hand the driver some money. Then they both slipped out of the vehicle, straightening their respective dresses.

Aubrey’s heart was hammering, standing patiently while she waited for Stacie to join her. She watched while the younger woman leant back into the car to pick her clutch up from the floor, then straighten herself up again. The Uber drove off. And Aubrey watched as Stacie’s shoulders rose and fell, as though she were taking a deep breath to try to compose herself.

Had she done the wrong thing? Had she read the signals all wrong? Had Stacie’s Mom been wrong? _Didn’t_ Stacie have a thing for her?

Breath caught in Aubrey’s throat as the brunette turned on the spot, peering over at her, almost as if to check that she was still there. And Aubrey decided it was probably best she didn’t take any further action until she had a slightly firmer sign from Stacie that she could make a move. Though the thought of making a move again had Aubrey feeling terrified.

Aubrey’s life had been full of rejection. Having this job was the first time she hadn’t been on the receiving end of it. Having this job meant she’d thrived and had proved so much. But she knew deep down there was so much more to life than a successful career. She craved the intimacy of being in mutual love with someone - even though her last ‘love’ was a college boyfriend she’d dated in her Sophomore year. The boyfriend she’d dumped in her Junior year so she could focus harder on The Bellas.

 _Nine years ago_. Had it really been that long? What gave her the right to assume she was what Stacie needed? That Stacie was what _she_ needed?

She watched as Stacie slowly made her way over to her, smiling awkwardly while she fiddled nervously with the clutch she’d just plucked from the back of the Uber. The brunette slowed to a stop and Aubrey swallowed loudly. What the hell could she say to Stacie? Apologise for leaning in to kiss her? Try to assure her that she didn’t mean anything untoward?

“Pretty snazzy place.” Stacie said conversationally, pointing over at the beautiful hotel they’d just arrived at. Aubrey looked over with a smile of relief more than anything. Stacie was happy to change the conversation.

“Yeah it…well it’s an awards show. I’d be annoyed if it wasn’t.”

And to add to Aubrey’s relief, Stacie let out a chuckle.

“Trust you.” Stacie replied, nudging Aubrey with her elbow.

The two women slowly made their way up the path towards the entrance of the hotel. Both wanting to hold the other’s hand. Neither daring to.

—

_“So, how long have you two known each other?”_

It was an inevitable question. One that Aubrey and Stacie had both been expecting. Yet the first time it was asked, they both hesitated and looked at one another with embarrassed smiles on their faces. Embarrassed because it sounded an awful lot like a question a relative would ask a couple at a family gathering. But Aubrey and Stacie _weren’t_ a couple. And technically they’d only just started getting know each other as the adults they now were - post-Barden.

Each time it was asked, Aubrey would briefly explain that they’d been at college together - which was true, though technically it had only been for a year. And each time, they would have to endure the embarrassing response by whoever they were talking to about how “what happens in college stays in college, huh?” closely followed by a wink.

For every moment that comment was given, Stacie would find herself glancing at Aubrey awkwardly, noting the way Aubrey’s cheeks would go pink and the blonde would get a little flustered. And each time, Stacie would sink further and further into herself. Aubrey was embarrassed of her. She was showing Aubrey up by just being there. And that was when the voice of doubt began booming away in her head.

What was she even doing here? Why was Aubrey putting herself through this shame? Was it because Aubrey felt sorry for her? Did she pity her? Did all these people here assume they were a couple? Were they judging Aubrey? Were they going to change their mind about who won the award Aubrey was nominated for, so that Aubrey _wouldn’t_ win it because they all thought she was gay?

“So, how long have you two known each other?” came the question, this time from an older woman in a smart pant-suit, smiling politely at Aubrey and Stacie. She was apparently the head of the committee who had decided who won which award this evening. Stacie could sense Aubrey’s nerves, and gripped her champagne flute a little tighter.

“We met in college around eight years ago.” Aubrey explained, in a tone that Stacie could tell was a cautious one. Aubrey had clearly had enough of answering this question. Had clearly not expected it to be the most common question she’d be asked tonight.

“In college.” the woman mused, and Stacie held her breath, expecting the follow up comment that made them cringe. But to her surprise, it never came. And instead, Linda Lucini turned to the brunette and asked kindly, “What did you major in, Stacie?”

“Oh…um…” Stacie paused, a little taken aback that someone had spoken to her directly rather than through Aubrey, as all previous people they’d come across had. “Naval Engineering.”

She said it in such a vulnerable tone it was a wonder the woman they were speaking to believed her. But Linda’s eyebrows rose, clearly surprised.

“Wow. You do not have the look of a naval engineer, Stacie.” Linda replied with a kind smile.

But Stacie’s stomach had already dropped. Because she _wasn’t_ a naval engineer. She’d majored in it, yeah. Had garnered the highest grade Barden had ever known in that particular field of education. But she’d done nothing with it. Had just had a child instead.

“I-I’m not a naval engineer..” Stacie mumbled awkwardly, causing Linda’s eyebrows to drop in confusion.

“Stacie’s got a two year old daughter.” Aubrey burst with a broad smile, reaching a hand out to gently hold her best friend’s upper arm, “Bella. She’s absolutely _beautiful_!”

“I can imagine.” Linda replied in a curious tone, her smile softening to a kind one again as Stacie stood nervously beside Aubrey.

—

After finally escaping from the final guest who wanted to politely chat to them, Stacie found herself by the bar, ready to order a strong cocktail. Three flutes of champagne wasn’t enough to mask her embarrassed she was of herself. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how embarrassed Aubrey was of her too.

“Hey.” came Aubrey’s soft tone, and Stacie hung her head with a sigh as she felt the blonde gently smoothing her fingertips down Stacie’s inner arm, lingering in the palm, as though wanting to take her hand but not daring to. “What’s going on?”

Stacie felt her chest tighten, her nose tingling as tears crept into her eyes. She wanted to hide away. She wanted to run. She didn’t want to be here if she was just going to embarrass the woman she so desperately (and secretly) loved.

“I don’t belong here.” Stacie mumbled, her stomach twisting when she heard the words again, ringing around her head. She _didn’t_ belong here. Aubrey did, though. She turned to look at her friend, and just the expression on the woman’s face was enough for Stacie to want to burst into tears, “I look a state. I have nothing to contribute to conversations because I have no big achievements or hobbies. And you’re _so_ beautiful and _so_ amazing, it’s a wonder people aren’t asking why you even bothered inviting me here with you tonight.”

Aubrey felt a lump in her throat, her heart lurching towards the beautiful woman stood before her. The one who was revealing such deep insecurities and uncharacteristic vulnerability. This was _Stacie Conrad_. The woman who Aubrey whole-heartedly admitted was the most beautiful of all her friends. The most amazing. The cleverest and bravest.

Stacie swallowed loudly as Aubrey took her hand and squeezed it tight, her green eyes bearing into her hazel.

“There is nobody who deserves to be here more than you.” Aubrey began in a serious tone, wanting her words to push beyond Stacie’s walls and into her heart, “You deserve _all of this_ Stacie. You deserve to have a night off from your responsibilities back home. To be able to be somewhere fancy, in a fancy dress that you look stunning in. Yeah, you’ve just had to schmooze with idiots who think they’ve got life down because they run something or own something, but that awful bit is over with now. Nobody likes it.”

Stacie’s anxiety was slowly beginning to ease the more Aubrey spoke. The more Aubrey held her gaze.

“All these people here think they know us just to look at us. To speak to us for a minute or two. They don’t. But _we_ do. _We_ know each other. I _know_ you and _you_ know me.” Aubrey paused, tears having built in her eyes while their hands remained entwined by their side. She desperately wanted Stacie to understand what she was trying to say here. “So let’s forget about them. Forget about what they might be thinking. Forget about how we might not fit in here - because we don’t. Not really.”

Stacie’s heart began racing as she watched Aubrey move a little closer to her, their hips leaning against one another while Aubrey drew her face slightly closer to Stacie’s.

“Let’s just enjoy tonight and this rare chance we’ve got to be together, yeah?” Aubrey mumbled, an affectioned smile on her face. And while Stacie’s anxiety didn’t completely disappear, it certainly eased away.

She nodded gently just as an announcer on stage held a mic to draw everyone’s attention..

—

Okay so the meal had been good. Like, _really_ good. Even Stacie could admit that much. Yes she felt a little intimidated being surrounded by so many successful people. So many people who had such powerful personalities. But at moments during the three course meal, she would find her mind drifting from her insecurities - those voices that told her she didn’t deserve to be there - and Stacie’s focus tended to draw itself to the way Aubrey would sometimes take her hand beneath the table. Almost as though the blonde _knew_ how this simple action calmed Stacie.

And the free wine served at the table was also a big help.

Within an hour of sitting at the beautifully laid table, Stacie had managed to relax a little, choosing to try to concentrate on the happy parts of this evening. Like the way Aubrey kept stealing glances at her with a coy smile on her face. The way Aubrey offered her the tomatoes on her own plate because Stacie had mentioned how they were the tastiest tomatoes she’d ever eaten. And in return how much joy Stacie felt in offering Aubrey her avocado, knowing how much the blonde loved the stuff.

Soon it was time to announce the awards, and Stacie felt a warmth that she only felt when well topped up with alcohol. She smiled lazily at Aubrey, through doey eyes, while the blonde sat upright a little higher when her category was announced. Then Stacie began to wonder if wasn’t the alcohol at all that made her glow. Perhaps it was her deep feelings for the beautiful woman beside her. Because Aubrey was _stunning_. And _so_ kind to her. And helped Stacie feel safe and loved and-

Stacie jumped as Aubrey let out a squeal of delight - fuelled purely by the wine she’d drank with dinner - and the blonde turned to her, her eyes shining as the people around them watched while clapping. Stacie knew what this probably meant, and a broad smile spread across her face.

 _Aubrey had won_.

—

The Uber ride home had been far louder than the ride to the venue earlier that evening. Stacie and Aubrey had both sang loudly to the radio and had giggled plenty.

By the time they arrived at Stacie’s house, both sliding out of the car as gracefully as possible, they felt suitably tired. And suitably content.

As the two slowly made their way into the house, they held their breath, trying to remain as quiet as possible while making their way upstairs. Neither wanted to wake the two year old that was highly likely to be lightly sleeping, eagerly awaiting her mother’s return. Waking Bella meant the potential for a lot of noise. And right now neither Stacie or Aubrey were mentally prepared for a chatty kid asking a tonne of questions. They just wanted to sleep.

Stacie paused outside the door of the bedroom that Aubrey would be sleeping in overnight. The bedroom that was usually hers. The brunette fiddled with her clutch nervously, her heart beating fast as she saw through the darkness the figure of her friend approaching the door too.

“ _Guess this is goodnight then.._.” Stacie whispered, and she noted the way Aubrey seemed to nod gently. Her heart skipped a beat when she felt a warm hand on her bare arm, her skin tingling at the touch.

“ _Come inside for a bit?_ ” Aubrey whispered in return, and this time it was Stacie who nodded gently.

It was like they were on a date, and Stacie had walked Aubrey back to her apartment only for Aubrey to invite her in for a coffee. And the younger woman’s heart rammed against her chest when she began comparing this current moment they were in with the _common_ moment of a date being invited into an apartment. There would often be a kiss and some real deep talking involved.

And as Stacie allowed Aubrey to lead her into the bedroom by her hand, she wondered how the next few minutes were going to pan out…


	4. A Heart to Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacie reveals her insecurities..

The bedroom was silent as Stacie quietly closed the door behind her, then turned to look at Aubrey through the dim light. The woman’s body was lit only by the street lamps that filtered through the uncovered window at the end of the room. Stacie could remember every single inch of how Aubrey had looked tonight - she didn’t need the light to remind her.

“ _Come_.” Aubrey whispered while slowly wandering to the bed and Stacie watched, her heart beating hard against her chest as Aubrey slipped her heels off and scooted onto the bed. When Stacie was certain her friend had got comfortable, the brunette took a deep breath and slipped her own heels from her feet before padding over to the bed.

She swallowed loudly before crawling onto the empty part of the bed, letting out a heavy tired sigh as she got comfortable. Laying on their sides, Stacie and Aubrey faced each other, taking the time to listen to each other’s breathing and their own beating hearts.

“You look so beautiful.” Aubrey mumbled gently, reaching her hand out so her fingertips could trickle up and down Stacie’s bare arm. But the compliment didn’t fill the brunette with confidence. It filled her with doubt. Because she _still_ couldn’t understand how Aubrey found her beautiful.

“You can’t see me in the dark.” Stacie replied in a plain voice, causing Aubrey to let out a light chuckle. Clearly the older woman thought she was joking. That showed just how little Aubrey knew Stacie. And it made Stacie curl a little more into herself.

“I don’t need to see you in the dark, Stacie.” Aubrey replied in a gentle tone, and Stacie felt the blonde’s hand trace its way down the length of her bare arm until she took her hand, “You’re always beautiful to me. No matter what.”

Aubrey sensed so much hesitation in the woman’s body as she lay beside Stacie. And she knew it wasn’t because of their close proximity or the fact that they were now on a bed together holding hands. It broke her heart to realise that Stacie’s hesitation was because the younger woman _still_ didn’t believe what she believed.

So Aubrey gently released Stacie’s hand, and reached up to cup her cheek, drifting her thumb gently across her skin. And her stomach sank slightly as the pad of her thumb met a tear that was falling from Stacie’s eyes.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Stacie mumbled in a vulnerable tone, and Aubrey’s heart lurched towards her crush.

“Because…I _love_ you.” Aubrey revealed softly. Finally. Hearing herself say it out loud was an overwhelming relief, but to do so in the dark was somewhat daunting. Because she couldn’t gauge Stacie’s reaction. Not until Stacie’s jaw began to tremble and a light sob fell from the brunette’s mouth.

The reaction had Aubrey bringing her hand from Stacie’s cheek and towards her own body instead. Her heart broke. Was this it? Had she ruined everything? Had Stacie’s Mom been wrong when she’d told Aubrey earlier in the day that her daughter was secretly in love with her too?

“How can you love me…” Stacie blubbed, pausing to sniff, before letting out a heavy sigh, “…when I struggle to even love myself?”

It was those words that hit Aubrey like a steamroller. Words that were said with such sensitivity and vulnerability. As though Stacie had exposed her deepest insecurity. Words that completely baffled Aubrey. The blonde took a couple of moments to rattle through potential comebacks. Until she finally landed on one, and took a deep shaky breath.

“Why do you struggle to love yourself?” she asked tentatively. The question hung in the air, echoing around both women’s heads. Aubrey waited with baited breath. As far as she was aware, Stacie wasn’t one to walk away from a conversation. But then again, they’d never had such a deep conversation before. Perhaps Stacie would just get up and leave the room?

“Because I miss the old me.” Stacie revealed in a quiet voice, swallowing loudly while tears still fell from her eyes and rolled down onto her pillow. “Back in college I had hoards of guys - and quite a few girls - tripping over themselves wanting to talk to me. Wanting my attention. Wanting to get to know me. Wanting to kiss me and take me out on dates.”

Aubrey remembered how Stacie was back at Barden. How sought after she was. It had always amazed her how much the brunette had thrived on it. Because there had been times when Stacie had been in her freshman year and Aubrey had been in her senior year, when the older woman had wanted to protect the younger from all the shallow attention she received. The guys only fawned after Stacie because she was so openly sexual. To them she was an easy lay. And Aubrey had _hated_ that they’d thought that. Had hated that Stacie hadn’t seemed to get that at the time. There had always been so much more to the brunette - though Aubrey had only come to realise the true intricacy of Stacie’s intelligent mind during the trip to Copenhagen several years ago..

“I miss the affection and the attention. The compliments. The flirtatious conversations. The _intimacy_ …” Stacie continued in a quiet voice. It was noticeable she was crying but not by the way she looked. By the way she spoke.

“Ever since falling pregnant with Bella, I’ve really struggled to like anything about my body. And it made me realise just how much I’d relied on my looks back in college. I got bigger and bigger during my pregnancy and stupidly believed I’d immediately go back to my pre-pregnancy size as soon as she was born. But I haven’t. I’m a whale.”

Aubrey still struggled to comprehend what her friend was saying. She imagined there were thousands of women all over the world who would kill for a body like Stacie’s. But there was no telling her. Aubrey knew thanks to the complicated relationship she had with her own body that all women perceived their own bodies differently to the bodies of others.

“People don’t talk to me like they used to. People don’t know anything about me beyond Bella. They ask about her and how _she_ is. But nobody asks me about me… About how I am or how I’m coping or what my dreams for the future are.” A huge heavy sigh fell from Stacie’s mouth as she paused to catch her breath. Then she finished with a quiet, vulnerable, “I feel as though my life as I knew it has expired. Now people don’t notice me any more.”

“I notice you.” Aubrey replied in a soft tone, wishing she could reach out and cup her crush’s face again. But she didn’t really know Stacie well enough to know how to comfort her. If it were Chloe she knew the woman liked a big tight hug. If it were Beca, she knew to give her some ‘tough love’ words then just leave the woman alone.

But Stacie was different. And because Aubrey _loved_ Stacie so much, she didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was. She the blonde kept her hands to herself.

Until Stacie reached out with a sniff, took Aubrey’s hand, and brought it to her own mouth. Placing a short sweet kiss on the back of Aubrey’s hand, Stacie mumbled, “I know.” bringing the hand into her chest and holding it there gently.

The room fell silent again as Aubrey and Stacie peered at one another through the darkness. And for several minutes they laid in silence. Their bodies rose and fell in time as they breathed gently. Their hearts hammered away as one. The alcohol in their system from the meal earlier had mostly gone. Now all that was left was the sober reality that the two of them felt _a lot_ for one another. A lot of love. A lot of trust.

“Your Mom told me earlier that you have a thing for me.” Aubrey said in a calm voice, a small smile on her face, and she felt Stacie take a deep breath beneath her hand.

“Of course she did…” Stacie breathed out, and Aubrey could almost _hear_ her friend’s eyes rolling. Aubrey let out a light chuckle, and to her relief, she heard a similar - if not slightly more sniffly - chuckle leave Stacie’s mouth too.

“For what it’s worth, I have a thing for you too.” Aubrey admitted, the words slipping out far easily than she’d ever expected they would. She’d done it. Had officially told Stacie, to an extent, how she felt. And Stacie was still holding her hand.

“Yeah I figured that much when you told me you love me.” Stacie replied in an amused tone and Aubrey let out a slight audible grimace. “It’s okay.” Stacie replied, then let go of Aubrey’s hand to reach up and curl some of her long blonde hair behind her ear. “ _Because I love you too._ ” she whispered, “ _I’ve been in love with you for a long time._ ”

The words hung in the air over them as the sexual tension built in the room. Stacie’s hand had stilled, cupping Aubrey’s cheek affectionately while Aubrey’s palm remained on Stacie’s chest over her heart. This was the sort of intimacy that both of them had been yearning for over the years. That neither of them had ever really experienced before now.

After a couple of moments, Aubrey shifted her hips so she laid closer to Stacie. And this close proximity meant that both could feel the other’s breath on their faces. Warm. Comforting. Smelling remotely of strawberry thanks to the final couple of cocktails they’d had that evening.

“ _I love every inch of you, Stacie Conrad_.” Aubrey whispered affectionately, “ _Body and soul. Every bit._ ”

And slowly, Aubrey nudged the tip of her nose against Stacie’s, her eyes flickering closed to relish this intimate moment. Their lips hovered over one another, almost taunting each other, trying to lure the other to make the final move. In the end it was Stacie who couldn’t hang on any longer, and the second her lips met Aubrey’s, they both took a deep intake of breath through their noses, and exhaled in relief.

Because this first kiss was everything they’d hoped for and more. And above anything, it was mutually reciprocated.

——

The clink of the bedroom door slowly opening, closely followed by loud shallow breathing, entered the once silent room. Shuffles of tiny footsteps joined the breathing, then stopped.

“Mama?”

Stacie stirred in her sleep, letting out a light groan as she brought her hand to her eyes and rubbed them. What time was it? The brunette turned her whole body around and caught sight of her daughter stood beside the bed, her big green eyes peering at her with a questioning expression.

“Why you here with Bau-Bree?” the two year old asked in a crisp clear voice, one that seemed far too loud for this time of morning - whatever time of morning it was.

“Uh…” Stacie croaked before clearing her throat and looking over her shoulder. There Aubrey laid, with a bedsheet over her body, her bare arms on top of it, her hands gently gripping the edges. The blonde was looking up at Stacie with a sleepy grin, and Stacie grinned back.

“We…had a sleepover, sweetheart.” Stacie explained slowly, turning back to her young daughter who still looked a bit confused.

“You not want sleepover with me?” Bella asked in her little voice, her expression turning a bit sad, and Stacie felt her stomach drop a bit. She couldn’t remember what time she and Aubrey had fallen asleep last night. But it hadn’t occurred to her that her daughter might be upset if she hadn’t ended up staying in her little bedroom instead.

“Ohh no-no, Baby.” Stacie said quickly, reaching out to invite Bella up onto the bed, “It just got so late and we got really sleepy and fell asleep here.” which for the most part was true. It wasn’t wrong for the mother to miss out the tiny detail that she and her friend had actually been heavily making out on the bed before then..

Little Bella Conrad clambered up onto the bed, settling on her mother’s lap on top of the bedcovers while Stacie cradled her gently.

“Why you not wearing clothes?” Bella asked in a curious voice, furrowing her brow slightly while peering down at her mother’s bare chest. Stacie cleared her throat awkwardly. She never went to sleep overnight without pyjamas on.

“I um…got quite hot.” Stacie replied, glancing down at Aubrey who had tugged her bottom lip between her teeth with a grin. Because yeah, last night she and Aubrey had got a bit too hot during their make-out session. And had wanted to further explore one another’s bodies. Naked.

The two year old peered down at Aubrey, clearly pleased to see the woman awake.

“Bau-Bree? You wanna come play?” Bella asked in a hopeful tone, always loving a bit of entertainment first thing in the morning. Usually her mother insisted she play on her own in her bedroom until ‘a more reasonable time’ (which was only normally an hour later - at 6.30am).

“Sweetheart,” Stacie said while reaching back for her phone which she’d slipped under the pillow at some point last night. She checked the time. 5.33am. As if like clockwork. “Why don’t you play in your bedroom for a little while, until a more reasonable time, then me and Aubrey can join you, yeah?”

Bella, good as gold, nodded gently with a quiet “Okay” then proceeded to scramble off her mother’s bed. As the two year old shuffled out of the bedroom, Stacie reached out and pushed the bedroom door over again. It wasn’t closed. But it was closed over enough to give the two women a bit more privacy.

Stacie turned back to Aubrey, scooting down the bed again and let out a heavy tired sigh as her arm lolled over the blonde’s bare waist. They both looked into each other’s eyes with soft smiles on their faces, hardly able to believe all that had happened in the past sixteen hours or so.

“Sorry about that.” Stacie mumbled as she nudged her face into the nook of Aubrey’s neck, resting there with another sigh, this time of contentment.

“It’s okay.” Aubrey replied with a chuckle, bringing her lips down to kiss the top of Stacie’s head, “She’s so cute.”

“Even at 5.30 in the morning?” the brunette mumbled against Aubrey’s skin, her eyes having already drifted closed. This was the calmest she’d felt in a very very long time, and she adored the feel of Aubrey’s arms wrapping around her bare body beneath the bedsheets.

“ _Especially_ at 5.30 in the morning.” Aubrey replied in a gentle tone. But Stacie began to wonder how long her friend could think that way about her daughter. After all, it was one thing to be woken at 5.30 by a two year old as a one off. A whole other thing when it was _every_ morning.

“You don’t have to be so polite, you know. I know how exhausting she can be.” Stacie replied, but Aubrey only held her that little bit tighter.

“I love you. And that means I love her too.” came the soft reply, “Even at 5.30 in the morning.”

Stacie tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes open again but looking over Aubrey’s bare chest at the window where the early morning light was creeping between the curtains. The mark of a new day dawning. Not just for the next nineteen hours, but of the rest of her life.

“I may go through and play with her now though.” Aubrey admitted, and Stacie pulled herself up slightly, propping herself up with her elbow while she looked down at her friend in confusion.

“I just feel bad that I took her Mama away from her overnight…” Aubrey began with a shrug but Stacie quickly swept her lips down to kiss her on the lips. Aubrey was out of this world wonderful. Thoughtful. Kind. Caring. And it meant so much to Stacie to know that the blonde could accept her daughter as much as she accepted her.

“Mama?”

Stacie let out a disappointed sigh as she and Aubrey quickly broke their kiss, Aubrey automatically drawing the bedsheets up to cover her bare chest. And the two women looked to the bottom of the bed they were laid in to see Bella now stood there, looking over at them with her big green eyes.

“Why you kissing?” the two year old asked, her brow furrowing as though she were trying to work it out herself. The two women began sitting up in the bed, their cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment.

“Because Bau-Bree and I are…” Stacie began, pausing to look over at the woman she loved, who was already looking at her with an affectionate smile on her face.

“Girlfriends.” Aubrey finished for her.

“Girlfriends.” Stacie confirmed, a smile growing on her face, loving the sound of that label that she and Aubrey now shared. She turned back to her little daughter, “Yeah, girlfriend’s.”

“Like Mommy and Mommy?” Bella asked, “Not Mommy and Daddy?”

Stacie was surprised on how much the two year old picked up on. Bella had never questioned where her ‘Daddy’ was before. She just knew that in her house there was her Mama, and her Grandma. That was it. All girls. “Strong girls!” as Stacie’s mom always reminded the child. And that was what Bella had grown up knowing.

“Yeah, Bella.” Aubrey confirmed with a gentle tone and a soft smile, “Like Mama and Mommy.”

Stacie’s heart soared as the blonde beside her looked over at her, and they both smiled affectionately at one another while Aubrey added, “If you want?”

The look and words were entirely directed at Stacie. Aubrey wanted to check. Was Stacie okay with her being a part of both of their lives? Was she willing to allow Aubrey to love both of them unconditionally? But before Stacie could answer, a little voice piped up at the bottom of the bed.

“Yes I want!”

And the two women chuckled at the little girl, Stacie shrugging while adding, “Guess the jury’s out.”

——

Julie Conrad stood at the door of her bedroom, having always kept it open slightly in case her granddaughter had needed her in the night. A soft smile was on her face, having heard the entirety of the the early morning conversation, including the private conversation between her daughter and daughter’s best friend. Stacie’s crush. And from the sounds of things, her new girlfriend.

The eldest woman was pleased. She knew her daughter deserved the world, and someone to spend it with. Someone who loved her and Bella more than anything. Someone who would support and protect them. Someone who would bring a fire back to Stacie’s ambition. And that someone appeared to be Aubrey Posen..

“Bau-Bree, _now_ can you come plaaay?” Julie heard her two year old Grandaughter ask, and the woman let out a short sigh. Poor Stacie. Poor _Aubrey_.

So the Grandmother quickly opened her door and called out to her Granddaughter, “Come on Bells! Let’s go down and make breakfast!”

Stacie and Aubrey watched as the two year old’s face lit up, a little gasp falling from her mouth, and they saw Bella racing out of the bedroom. Bella was a sucker for food of any kind. Particularly breakfast.

To Stacie’s surprise the bedroom door was quickly closed up completely behind her daughter, and a coy smile swept onto her face as she looked over at her girlfriend.

“I think your Mom’s worked it out.” she heard Aubrey admit, and Stacie giggled as the blonde grinned at her. She twisted in the bed, slipping her hands back over Aubrey’s waist, and gently guided her onto her back.

“Means we’ve got plenty of time to wake up properly then.” Stacie mumbled affectionately against Aubrey’s smiling mouth, before their lips smashed together in a deep and lustful kiss…


End file.
